l work in a bar and was recently asked by my boss if l was giving away free drinks to a specific customer, essentially stealing. This customer is one of my good friends but l would never dream of doing this as l am not a thief. If l serve them but do not take/ask for money l pay for the drinks myself. My manager refuses to tell me who has made the accusation, is there anyway l can make them tell me.
l was thinking that if l insisted that they begin disciplinary procedures then they would have to tell me. l cannot stand to be thought of as thief, and it is basically slander from the person accusing me.

Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you.

In the context in which u speak, there is no ''right'' to face an accuser. The Boss is in fact ur accuser & u have already faced him/her. If a police report were ever filed & a court case resulted then of course, u would have the opportunity to face who ever made the accusations & u may very well find out it is ur boss who accused u based on info he got from someone else.

If u push the matter u will most likely find yourself fired before u would get charged & in that case u would be ticked off AND out of a job.

If the manager is not taking it any further & u still have ur job then just get over it. Also, keep in mind that it is only slander if the person making the comment or accusation does it fully knowing that it is false. If it is just their impression or their understanding then that does not meet the threshold for slander.

You have no evidence to offer, to make a slander claim in court; this is your only legal option. You can only thrash it out with your boss. Look him in the eye; tell him calmly, that you have self respect, and do not steal from anyone. That either the informer was mistaken, or lying for some inexplicable reason. You might add that you want to keep the job, but need him to have confidence in you.

Ok .. as l read ur statement here l am actually reading that a question was asked .. not a statement of fact made...
l suspect that someone is stealing & it is ur boss is job to find out who.. without any evidence - of which l am sure he would have confronted u with - he in all conscience cannot make an accusation...
However he can 'ask' which is what he has done - & it could be he was put in a position to ask because someone else is trying to divert attention away from the fact that they r doing it ..

The tills r obviously down, ur boss can not account for why, so he must put everyone who works there on alert that he is aware something is amiss... in so doing the real guilty person may well stop what they're doing for a while so as not to attract attention to themselves because of the close scrutiny you're all under...

May l suggest three things to u that may help ur situation & will show ur boss u r not the guilty party...
1. At all times try to ensure someone else sees & witnesses everything u do on the bar - including any CCTV that may be installed.
2. You keep a notepad behind the bar - & make everyone aware of that notepad & the reason for it - that u will note anything & everything u do that does not immediately go through the till...
3. Speak to ur friend & explain the situation & ask them if at all possible not to put u in a position of having to cover their bar tab.. & if u do serve them - u make sure the other barstaff working with u know that u have & see u note it on ur pad & then place the final bill at the end of the evening in the till...

This is called 'Covering Your A**e' (CYA).. it might not be a bad idea to let ur boss know what u r doing too - then he will be more reassured about ur honesty & may focus his attention on others who may not be so diligent in proving their honesty - often they will come out with something like ' l do not see why l have to prove anything ..' or 'my rights r being infringed by having to report every movement l make ...' - generally these people have something to hide which is why they're not keen on being so transparent in their actions..
And if it is ur boss who is the real culprit then he may look to try to put someone else in the frame as he can see that u r CYA'ing & it will be more difficult to accuse u without any actual & formal evidence - which he would need anyway to take any formal action against you....this in turn will provide u with back if or should u need it in a more formal context...

PS - always get someone to countersign ur notepad at the end of the evening & always take it home with you... do not leave it around for someone else to tamper with it when you're not looking..

l am sorry to advise u like this, but it is the only way l can see u can salvage ur conscience & save ur job .. if the job is not worth that much to u then work for a month along the lines described above just to prove ur point - then tell ur boss to shove it where the sun do not shine...!